Welcome to the C.W.

Whiteness is like a club that most of us – if not all of us – in the west are indoctrinated into at birth. We get a number. That is the mark of indoctrination. We do not get a choice. The thing with this club, is that there is a class system of hierarchy. The classes intersect, but in a peculiarly specific manner; as if meticulously designed and not at all random. In this club, the most notable advantages are given to those wearing light skin. Those with light skin are given a privilege, but only if they ascribe to the cultural norms of the club. Club Whiteness, we’ll call it. The C.W. This privilege allows those with light skin to be seen as objective, an illusion made real. However, if they dare step into solidarity with those who do not have light skin, they are tarnished by definition to those with light skin, called names that, in their classist epistemological viewpoint, demean them to the  level at which they've defined those without light skin, the self-ascribed status of inferior.

Your Spiritual Evolution

By the end of your spiritual existence you will hav experienced every SINGLE perspective of [All] [God] [what do we call this thing-being?] FULLY --> just as you are experiencing YOURSELF RIGHT NOW and ALL of your contextual complexity 💛💚💙💜

Kaycie Ana's Diaspora

Kaycie Ana's life study is the evolution of (human) consciousness and iset life journey is to raise (human) consciousness. As such, history fascinates iset and does not feel to distant. Iset grew up in Seattle, WA and spent her childhood on stage dancing, singing, and acting; as well as playing musical instruments and basketball. Iset also loved physics and astronomy, as well as working with youth. Iset entered her undergraduate career believing she would double major in astrononmy and theater, but the "system" got the best of her at that time, and she was pushed out of those departments due to othering. Not to worry, this was all part of iset path, iset next focus was youth. Kaycie Ana has enjoyed working with youth for the majority of her professional career (to date), and iset has gained so much from working with the youth on this planet. Currently, iset teaches tap dance in Portland, runs a statewide youth mentorship program in Oregon; and facilitates racial justice//educational equity intercultural competence/communication workshops/trainings on a contractual basis. Iset loves to dance, esp. salsa, tap, and Hip Hop freestyle and engages in these art forms on the reg. Kaycie Ana is creating a life in which she lives integrally, in that the personal, professional, individual, collective, biopsychosocialspiritual aspects of her life are all intertwined and in balance. Iset strives to impact those around her in ways that inspire self-reflection, self-empowerment and self-actualization. Iset goal is to develop this practices . into a tangible space where folks will feel welcome and inspired to share their stories, tech and learn with and from each other, comfort each other in solidarity of our journey of living, a place of healing and belonging. Kaycie Ana is a cat mama, community member, daughter, sister, friend, partner; and iset is simply bad-ass.

www.ladyscumbag.com/diaspora

twenty eighteen = eleven

The following was originally posted on Facebook and reposted here, as is: 

FB feels like the proper forum for such announcements (disclamer, I feel a long autobiographical stream of consciousness statement about to happen, so expect poor grammar *wink*): As some of you are aware, the past few years in Portland have been both difficult and transformative for me. Somewhat like a microcosm of my entire life before pdx. As a young girl, I was so vibrant, I "laughed too much" my peers would say - and I had no problem looking at them like they were the weird ones. Then something changed and I became so self-conscious that I began to doubt my own self worth without even recognizing it. I became paranoid with an incredible lack of self worth. I needed a community, so I did what I thought I had to do to obtain one, minimize myself (subconsciously of course). I became somewhat aware of this as an early teen when someone told me point blank that I was a follower and decided in that moment to embark on a trek to change that, right before going into a school system that was extremely toxic for me. So as you might imagine, it was a relatively slow trek. I'd no idea why I was treated the way I was, but I started to get an inkling because of the way I was treated in high school by mainly my IB peers and certain actions/comments made about my intelligence including why I was accepted to Pomona College. I was determined to prove them wrong and prove my intelligence. I tried to ignore that BS as I moved onto college, but ignoring it only meant more internalization, really. Nonetheless, by my senior year, I'd finally been accepted by a group of my peers for just being myself. I'd never felt that way before, not even by my own family whom I'd considered my everything as a child. So I finally got a taste of what it meant to be a part of a community of folks who  actually wanted me to be a part of their community. It was a transformative experience for my self-esteem. It wasn't until I was 28 that a good friend of mine defined my whole childhood and adolescence for me: internalized oppression. Everything clicked. Yep, definitely. But you see, I still didn't really subjectify my experience, I wasn't ready yet, apparently. I had objectified my entire life in order to understand it, like watching a movie, although it happened to me, it didn't happen in me. I went on to finish my MA degree. By this time in my life, I was so bent on understanding the human condition, specifically the evolution of human consciousness, that I spent nearly all of my free time during my 20s investigating and researching this subject. My spirituality grew and I was finally content as a human being. It became easier for me to live on this planet because it was easier for me to leave it and sort of float above it, so to speak. Unfortunately, this made it even easier for me to objectify, aka. not subjectify, my own life experience in my physical body. So when I was made aware of my internalized oppression and how it was invisibly dictating my life, I decided that it was time to ground myself. However, I was distracted from it for another couple years while I was focusing on my MA degree and travelling. Then I got back to Portland and had to, yet again, enter the "real world". I started with a typical roommate situation and job at the City...super normal. Then, this job listing came up: Educational Equity Program Manager...hmmmm.....right up my ally....that was 2.5 years ago and I can say with honesty that it is not without it's trials and tribulations, but also that it is the best job that I've ever had. It woke me up. It grounded me in my own body and in this body's history. And I was finally able to subjectify my experience. And it was incredibly difficult and painful. I believe I may have scared off much of my community in the process, which added another layer of pain to my process. Realizing that I'd actually never in my life really been part of a community of people who I could speak freely to about my experience, whose experience I could actually relate to at a subjective level. And that never in my life had I given myself the grace to understand my own positionality in this world and how that can impact my journey through life, especially if I am unaware or ignorant of it and not grounded. Also, there is always an element of the unknown as well in that I cannot know for sure what someone else is thinking of me, or why I'm consistently stared at by strangers whether locally or globally. And because I let my internalized oppression run rampant, I consistently concluded the same reasons for this occurrence. But I have written all of this, publicly, to say that I am ready to let go of that need-to-know-why. I don't need to know, actually, at all. That is for those folks to know and figure out, not me. That's not to say that I'm done with my process and that I will never internalize again, for it is such an unconscious pattern of mine, that I am sure I have more work to do, and that is mine, I own it. And I will continue to be vulnerable and have humility in this process, and, when necessary, make known my insecurities. And I have many insecurities, especially where my relationships are concerned. That is all that I have ever wanted in this life, holistic relationships, community, acceptance, belonging. I have a feeling that is what most of us desire. I have a feeling that if on our death bed, we have accomplished this, then we will die as happy as can be. But I can only speak for myself really and I have a strong sense of knowing that is the case for me. Through this process,  especially more recently, I have ostracized myself and I have ostracized others and that is the antithesis of my overall goal in life, which is that everyone feels accepted and a deep sense of belonging in my presence, including myself of course. I am incredibly grateful to  e v e r y o n e  who has aided me in this journey, if you know me at all (so anyone reading this), you are one of those people. And I am grateful for you in my life, regardless of the nature of our encounter, whether stranger, acquaintance, friend, family or foe, you have been an important part of my life and will continue to be. You may not realize it, but you've been instructive in my coming to this point in my life, to this realization, to this liberation. I dedicate my spiritual growth to you, for these lessons will last long after this lifetime. I love you, every one of you. I am going to be more "selfish" moving forward, so that I can be more "selfless" (or rather, self-full) in my relationships with myself, with you all, and with everyone else. Authentic, I believe is the buzzword being used currently ;) I've never been a very popular person, maybe just in my eyes, nonetheless, I understand why, because I've rarely been authentic, they are always the popular ones, if you think about it, effortlessly so it would seem. Granted, it's not necessarily my desire to be "popular" - but indeed, it's only when I've been more authentic do I develop more meaningful and close relationships. My current partnership is a perfect case in point. And that is why it is helpful to know and understand my own experience, my own positionality in this world, my own context; of course in relation to the global social context as well as the universal context. And it's worth it to say, that I love myself as well. For getting through this, for doing the work, for facing myself and letting it bare, even though it is painful, it is equally liberating. So we are in an eleven year (2+0+1+8 = 11), the number of spiritual growth, awakening and ascendence. And I am ready for it. Happy New Year, may your 2018 be filled with an appropriate amount of challenge/growth that suit your needs/desires/dreams, and of course, all the love <3

What if the thing being we call God is Love?

What if the thing being we call God is Love?

What if the organizing being, power, principle, consciousness of the universe  this universe, is love?

What if the word “love” has such a social sentimental stigma that it’s not viewed in it’s equally true, scientific sentiments?

Do we need a new shiny, big, complex, scientific sounding word for love?

Would it make a difference?

Think about it really tho…

Not from a religious/spiritual “God is Love” perspective,

But from a scientific/mathematical God = Love perspective.

True is True = True, true?

Then should be True from both extremes,

From all angles.

Love can be measured by medical technology as brainwaves.

That the more “love” one feels, the higher the frequency of the brainwave.

Ok.

Further research shows when frequency of sound is raised, vibrations going through salt and/or water –

A.k.a. our terrestrial bodies –

The geometric shapes produced grow more complex.

What’s next?

Further studies show when higher frequency wave of light hit the body’s DNA, more codons are “unlocked” – so to speak.

Well how neat.

If a thing being vibrates and a high love frequency, it’s productions (thoughts, creativity, intelligence) are more complex;

Therefore, more highly evolved.

Therefore, it stands to reason most highly evolved thing being would be pure love consciousness.

This makes sense cognitively as well…

Think about it:

What other thing being could or would love so much as to let itself experiment with self-destruction?

Stray from perfection?

Rip itself apart?

Give so much love so as to allow for the free will

To hate and to kill?

Why is there fear?

The organizing energy in this universe must be love

Otherwise nothing would exist.

So simple,

Yet,

Still so complex.

God is Love

God = Love

Hello, I’m God, my name is Love.

Daddy Issues

My friend suggested that perhaps we humans are all suffering from daddy issues...we know who are mother is (thank you Pachamama), but not who are farther is, we argue over who He is, what form He takes on, where He went, if He's coming back. Good point, I think. But He's there, we just need to recognize, acknowledge and accept Him for who He is. Let Mother Earth nurture us, it is Her Devine Will, let Her imbue us with the intuitive knowledge of the One, the collective. Let Her support us is our evolutionary growth, biopsychosocialspiritually. But She cannot be present for us if we are constantly neglecting and abusing Her, and She will rid of us if we continue to do so, as Her energy must be spent on self reparation. For She cannot be the nurturer without first nurturing Her Self, it is of Her Self and through Her Self that she is able to do so in the first place, if She is destroyed, She will be unable to be our Mother at all...I call it the airplane rule. Nonetheless, She is so gracious that She will let us destroy this aspect of Her body if we can't help ourselves from learning the lessons that would follow. For She is not contained solely within Her body, just like ours, it is but a vehicle. And Farther Sun, as He is widely known, He may seem more distant, but His light reigns down and dawns us with life giving energy, the force, the power to animate, to express our beings, to be self aware, to love. Let Him nourish us, let Him fill us with His wisdom and His material knowledge of all time and space, of the individual, let Him give us the tools to be, to exist, it is His Devine Will. Let Him inspire thought and creation and action. He is there for us to receive in whatever form we wish, whatever form is helpful for us individually - perhaps that is why so many religions have been created to try to find him, because there are many ways to do so, there are many ways to express and to accept and to love and to live, and to be. Let our Mother and Father be there for us, as They always have been, to aid all life They created in and of Themselves throughout existence on their individual and collective journey towards greater awareness and more complex and intricate expressions of consciousness -towards the full recognition of the paradox of love.

Choose Your Vibration

After going back and forth with the idea of free will, I am content with the acceptance that it too, as everything else, is a paradox. That said, I have remembered that when one is aware of their current state of consciousness, they can actually use their will, freely and without inclination by the outside world but rather as an inner spark of inspiration from the Self, the I AM, to shift our perspective which has a direct effect on our emotion, mood or mental state. This has been scientifically proven to have an affect on our chemistry and biology and therefore physics; which makes sense considering the double slit experiment that tells us when the observer is present (in the literal and figurative sense) the outcome changes. And the vibration that one emits can be measured and has shown to increase in frequency when an individual chooses to perceive their environment as safe, secure and life perpetuating, thus demonstrating a physical effect of mental processes. In this sense, it is free will that is being used, because if we were to simply react based off of the conditions of our environment, without awareness of our environment and our reaction within it, then we would not be acting of our own free will, theoretically, but instead of the will of entropy. (Which one could also is also free will, but not in the way it is most commonly defined.) Think about it, there are endless possibilities at ever infinitely small moment and there are countless triggers to those opportunities, and when we are aware, we become aware of those opportunities, and we act within our free will to choose which opportunity to take part in. When we are not aware of our current state of consciousness, then we just kind of ride along, reacting instead of responding. So, in this sense, one could argue – which, perhaps I do – that one can only use their free will if they are aware of their current state of consciousness, and even then, it’s a fractal, and with at each degree of being, of evolution there is a need to reevaluate what freedom really means, and reconnect with new meanings, and what we make of them…

“To change your mood or mental state, change your vibrations.” ~ The Kybalion

“One may change his mental vibrations by an effort of will in the direction of deliberately fixing the attention upon a more desirable state. Will directs the attention, and attention changes the vibration. Cultivate the art of attention by means of the will and you have solved the secret of the mastery of moods and mental states. To destroy an undesirable right of mental vibration, put into operation the principle of polarity, and concentrate upon the opposite pole to that which you desire to suppress. Kill out the undesirable by changing its polarity. ” ~The Kybalion